Growing up I was always told "divorce should never be an option"
Growing up I was always told "divorce should never be an option" by friends and their family. I come from a 'broken home' and hearing that statement was extremely difficult, and made me think that what I had for a family wasn't what should be. So, when I made the choice to marry at 19, I had the mentality of 'this is it'; for better or worse is what I agreed to. What I didn't know I was agreeing to was feeling as though the marriage was one sided, feeling bitter that this is what I had chosen and now I was stuck with it. Feeling trapped in my own home day after day because "divorce should never be an option".
The reality is, divorce should be an option. No one deserves to have those feelings of resentment, entrapment, and despair because they feel as though leaving damns them. We, as humans, like having options and freedoms to do what we feel is best for us. The only person that can determine what you will and will not do is you! If you feel divorce isn't an option for you, and you're ok with that, that's wonderful! I wish you all the merrier! But that option is needed for people who are in unhealthy marriages and just need to feel that it's ok to say "I'm done and ready to stand up for myself".
I often hear that couples won't get a divorce because of their children. My question is, why would you want an unhealthy marriage as an example to your children of how life will be when they get married? Wouldn't you want them to see a couple that loves and adores each other, treats each other with respect, and works as a team? I wouldn't want my future posterity to think that it's ok to treat their spouse any lesser than that.
If I hadn't decided to pull the plug on my marriage, I wouldn't be with the Boyfriend today. I wouldn't know what it truly means to be loved and adored, respected, and treated as though I am someone's world. Do we have our differences? Yes. Do we get on each other's nerves every so often? Absolutely. The key differences between what I had in my marriage and what I have now are: communication, and having the mentality that we are a team. It is never him against me, or vice versa, it is us against the world. I look back on how much time, emotion, and energy I had to put into my marriage to keep it somewhat afloat and it exhausts me. I cannot even begin to process how I made it work for the period that I did.
"We accept the love we think we deserve". What type of love are you choosing today?